How do you speak to others? Are you nice? Are you respectful? That's AWESOME! But don't stop there - how do you talk to YOURSELF? Are you being nice and respectful? The golden rule says to treat others as you would want to be treated, but are you treating yourself that way?
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How we speak to others is important. However, how we speak about ourselves, weather that be in jest, in seriousness, or as an inner thought is equally as important. Growing up, I was guilty of this. I was insecure, perhaps made so by my feelings of social awkwardness. I was a tomboy who loved karate, jumping my bike, digging trails and being outside over listening to boy bands, trying on lipstick and talking about crushes. Honestly, I'd rather do all that stuff; it made me happy, and sitting inside gabbing about boys in boy bands made me want to puke. I didn't meet any other kick ass ladies who rode bikes or were into sports until years later, and my school was full of mean girls who just didn't get it. Eventually, I felt that if I could poke fun at myself before others could, that it would mean I was laughing WITH them and could avoid the feeling of being picked on.
I know, I know, WHO in their right mind would think this works? Because, well, it doesn't. DUH.
After years of this, those negative self-thoughts and talks formed a bad habit and did less to make me feel like I was part of a group, and more to create feelings of not being good enough. It made me feel as if the people around me were smarter, prettier, faster and better than me in a million ways. And standing up for myself? Pssh. Get outta here! Looking back on it now I realize that it was FAR from the truth, but at the time, practicing putting myself down so much helped spur on more and more thoughts about how I was too goofy, or had the wrong clothes, or made too many mistakes, or that I should be lucky to be in people's presence.
As I grew up, I became more confident. I began to learn that what I was doing was downright harmful. After all, we NEED to be our biggest supporters. I began to practice self love, and to think and talk positively about myself. It was tough at first, but was a bad habit that sorely needed breaking. Slowly, my confidence grew and that positive talk became permanent. I'm proud to say that the negative self thoughts and talk are out the window, left in the dust long ago.
How you think and talk about yourself is important, and has more ramifications than just harmless joking. The next time you find yourself wanting to put yourself down, stop. Make it a point to think about the many reasons you are AWESOME! Make a list if you need to. If there's one thing I learned, it's that being different is a good thing. It can be tough going through those stages where everyone wants to talk, act and dress the same, but in the end our differences are our strengths; they are what make you the beautiful person you are. The tricky part is that you won't fully realize that right up front. You just gotta believe. 😎😘
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