Wow! I can't believe it's already the middle of August. So much has happened this year, both good and bad. I have finally started to get back to running and getting in shape again, since I hadn't really wanted to do anything after Conor's passing. Getting back to it makes me feel so much better than I have in months though, and even though I still don't know how to feel about some things, I do know that I have to keep moving forward any way I can, and as hard as it is I also know that Conor would be encouraging it.
With moving forward in mind, Yuan and I have been traveling to a few nationals to race BMX, being as careful as we can. After Conor's death, something changed within me, and I realized that while I needed to heed social distancing and safety rules (of course), I could no longer keep to the limits of my house and neighborhood. The thought of a road trip and a race lifted the heavy feelings of despair I didn't even realize had come to settle on me morning, noon and night. I no longer feel like breaking down for every little thing, which is not normal for me. As always, Yuan has been super supportive, and is just fine with hanging around the house. Last weekend we went to South Dakota, and I won all three days. I also got to see Iowa and South Dakota for the first time, so that was a blast!
In running news around here, our treadmill came in! Woohoo! The original store we ordered it from kept pushing back delivery month after month, so we finally ordered straight from ProForm and it came in two weeks! We got the Pro 5000, and I love that it has an incline and a decline, which is pretty cool for training. It also has a big tablet as a screen. Yuan put it together and tested out the power the other day, so now I think we just need to turn it on and calibrate some things and it should be good to go! I am especially excited about having a warmer place to run in during the winter months. Running while staring out at the snow seems like a much better option for this Houston transplant! This is it:
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The most massive box I've ever seen haha!
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Yuan working on it late at night. He was determined! 👍💓
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| The source of the love/hate relationship in all its glory. 😍😈😆😅 |
If this year has taught me anything, it's that life is precious. I've been keeping in touch with my family and friends on a regular basis, and have been really thankful for them. I've also distanced myself from friends who are toxic, and despite how turbulent this last year and a half has been, I've found myself happier than I've been in a long time. I don't know why I should have been surprised at that, but when you live most of your life not knowing how to recognize toxicity and/or separate yourself from it, you start either believing what toxic people say, or constantly questioning yourself. I'm very grateful that I can recognize it now, and I love how happy I've been, so much so that never again will I allow people like that into my life. Here's some toxic friend bingo, courtesy of Reddit lol!
I hope you guys are all having a good week, full of running or riding or whatever makes your hearts happy. I've got a big 'ol treadmill box to cut up, so until later, happy mileage! 😎
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